Heart Laid Bare

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

(photo credit: Wendy Longo photography via photopin cc)

There's nothing quite like working with children when it comes to sanctification. At least, that's been my own experience so far. Being around children sometimes up to 10 hours a day has been an eye opener for me. Within the past few weeks God has been stripping me slowly of any false notions I've had of  myself. To be quite honest it's not been pretty either.

My heart has been laid bare.

No, I'm not mother, although I'd love to be someday. The children I work with are not my own but the lessons in holiness have nevertheless been doing it's work. I'm beginning to have a new, deeply embedded respect for all mothers around the world.

What I once thought was selflessness in me I now see as selfishness inside. You see for a while, I pretty much made myself out to be much better than I thought. But then those precious children came along and brought out things inside me that I once though were long gone since my own childhood. Selfishness, stubbornness, pride and arrogance all came floating to the surface these last few weeks. It hasn't been pretty at all.

Yet even as I waded through the muck and mire of my heart something else amazing happened too. For the first time in a long time I began to feel God's love and mercy in new ways. With my heart stripped bare I began to realize my deep, deep need for Him. He is the only One who truly loving, merciful and good. He is the only One who is patient, kind and compassionate. He is the only One who can truly minister to these children in the ways that they need. I'm merely the vessel; His servant.

It's impossible for me to do God's job and to act the way God acts all the time. I'm still a work in progress too. Nothing has been made more clear to me than this truth.

I'm not perfect but I'm not where I was and I don't plan on staying where I'm at. Not because I can keep moving forward on my own but because I serve a God who is loving enough to not leave me as  I am. He's always working.

He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
Philippians 1:6

These lessons in holiness have been a real blessing. While not always easy, they're necessary to grow me and conform me to become more like Christ each and every day.

In what ways have you recently felt God teaching and shaping you?

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